


Road Work Ahead? Uh Yeah, I Sure Hope It Does

by erialc_raeb



Series: Detroit: Become Human [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm so sorry, LEDs, M/M, One Shot, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Tags Are Hard, Vines, no one asked for this, ocean man, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 04:38:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15700326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erialc_raeb/pseuds/erialc_raeb
Summary: Hank rediscovers old memes, and annoys the shit out of everybody.





	Road Work Ahead? Uh Yeah, I Sure Hope It Does

**Author's Note:**

> No one asked for this. But here it is, existing. I'm so sorry.

“Captain, you asked to see me?” Connor asked when he reached Fowler’s office. Hank was already sitting in one of the chairs, looking at his phone out of Fowler’s sight. “Yes Connor. Come in please.” Connor stepped into the office and shut the door behind him. “Hank, would you like to do the honors?” Fowler asks.

Hank looked up from his phone. “Officer I’ve got one question for you.” He started. Connor tilted his head in invitation for Hank to finish. Hank stood up, and pocketed his phone. He placed a hand sideways over his mouth, so his fingers were touching the tip of his nose. Hank took a deep breath before bringing that hand down to point at Connor’s shoes. “What are those!?” He exclaims, Fowler instantly bursting into laughter.

“They are my shoes?” Connor asked, confused. Hank finally stands up and pats the android on the shoulder. “Don’t worry Connor. We’re just messing with you. Hank and I just rediscovered Vine, so we’ve been quoting old memes.” Fowler says.

Hank and Connor go back to their desks not too long later, and everything is normal, save for when Hank laughs to himself about something on his computer. But the day just had to be ruined by Gavin coming over and gracing them all with his presence.

“What the fuck are you so goddamn happy about?” Gavin glares at Hank. Before anyone can speak, Gavin continues on a rant about Hank’s work ethics. Hank only rolls his eyes. “Fuck off Janet, I’m not going to your fuckin’ baby shower.” He then stands up and walks away, leaving Gavin dumbfounded.

The next few days were practically torture for Connor. Hank would constantly watch, read and quote old memes just to ‘refresh his memory’ as he puts it. He even made Connor look at some of his favorites just so he could join in if he ever decided to quote it. One of these instances happened on a quick shopping trip.

They were at a dollar store, having gotten everything they needed for their impromptu shopping trip, Connor decided to look at the dog toy section to see if they could pick anything up for Sumo while they were there. Hank took something off the shelf and held it out to Connor.

“Con look, it’s the good kush.” Hank had a smile on his face as he waited for the android to reciprocate. “This is the dollar store, how good can it be?” The android said deadpan, just to humor the man. Hank let out a victorious shout as he threw the object back onto the shelf and did a victory lap around the store, despite the strange looks he was receiving.

Hank was especially annoying about it when they were home. It seemed that he was holding back when they were at work, but at home he quoted to his heart’s content to Connor. Someone should give Connor a fucking medal for just how patient the deviant android could be with the older man.

“Hey Con?” Hank asked Connor, totally out of the blue. “Yes Lieutenant?” Connor didn’t look up from petting Sumo. “Do you remember?” Connor is confused by the extremely vague question. “Remember what?” Hank suddenly bursts into song. “Ah ah ah! Ba de ya! Say do you remember? Ba de ya! Dancin’ in September! Ba de ya! Never was a cloudy day!” Connor was suddenly regretting moving in with Hank.

One of Connor’s least favorite occurrences was when they were driving. Whenever they drove past a certain sign, Hank just had to come right out and say it. “Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.” During those times, Connor would internally decide whether or not to jump out of the moving car.

There was a day where Hank was quiet. He had not said a meme all day and Connor was seriously starting to worry for the Lieutenant. “Hank, are you ok?” Asked the android. “Oh hi, thanks for checking in. I’m still a piece of garbage.” Connor walked out of the room.

During an investigation, they came across the dead victim. Hank sighed. “This is so sad, Connor play Despacito.” Connor furrowed his eyebrows, but the song suddenly began to play anyways. “Lieutenant, I hardly think this is the time.” The android said over the music.

Once when Hank was tipsy, he got Connor with a really good one. “Hey Con?” He tried hard not to laugh yet. “Yes Hank?” Connor could only guess where this was going. “Have you seen up dog?” Hank asks. Connor’s LED circled yellow for a while. “I don’t believe I have. What is, up dog?” Hank FROZE. The man had never in his life, ever gotten that line to work. He then proceeded to burst into tears of drunken joy.

Finally, there was one day where Connor wanted to retaliate against Hank. So he prepared his prank. He ordered a tape that would work in Hank’s old car with a tape deck. When his order came in, he then loaded the song onto it. Connor managed to get it into Hank’s car without being caught, and made sure the volume was turned up loud.

The next day when the two of them got into Hank’s car for work, Connor anticipated the moment Hank turned the key. Suddenly, “Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land. That you understand!” The music blared loud over the speaker, scaring Hank slightly.

He reached the for volume button and quickly turned it down to a more acceptable level. “Oh man, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve heard that song.” He chuckled once the excitement wore off.” Hank shrugged and began the drive to work.

It wasn’t until the song played a fifth time that Hank started to get annoyed. “Connor, it was fun the first few times, but it’s fucking annoying as shit now. Turn it off.” Hank said. Connor reached for the eject tape button and pressed it. And pressed it again. And again. And again. “Lieutenant I can’t, it appears to be stuck.” Connor concludes.

“Shut the hell up, no it’s not!” Hank barks. Connor starts to press any of the buttons now and even tries hitting his hand up against the tape deck. But nothing works and the song continues to play. “Hank, I’m serious, it’s stuck.” Connor’s LED was yellow now. “Connor I swear to god! Just hit the next button at least!” Hank says angrily.

“Hank I only put the one song on here, it’s jammed.” Connor concludes. “I’m going to drive us off this bridge if that plays again Connor!” Hank yells, the song ending for the fifth time. The car is filled with silence then and they both let out a sigh of relief.

“Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land. That you understand.” Cuts through the speakers for a sixth time and Hank screams in anguish, beating one hand against the horn a few times. He pulls the car over to the curb and parks. Hank decides to just sit there, song still playing. They sit through the song playing two more times before Hank finally says anything.

“Ya know? It’s growing on me.” He starts the car up again and they drive to the DPD.

Many months later, Hank, Connor and Gavin are tasked with dealing with a case far out of town. “We can’t use my car because it’s in the shop.” Gavin says, already walking towards Hank’s car. When he tries to get into the front seat, Hank yells at him. “That seat is saved for two people, neither of them are human so get your ass in the back.” Hank growls.

“Lieutenant, who else sits in the front?” Connor whispers. “Just you and Sumo. Sumo takes up a lot of space, so he usually sits in the back anyways. But sometimes he’s brave and sits in the front.” Is Hank’s response.

Ocean Man is still stuck in the tape deck, so that is what they have to listen to during their long road trip. It isn’t long before Gavin breaks.

“Can we fucking play a different song? This one has played on loop for half an hour now which means it’s played fifteen times!” Gavin shouts angrily. “Well Gavin, you lucky bitch, you only have to listen to it a few fuckin’ times! We’ve had to hear it for three months straight because I refuse to drive in silence! Now shut the fuck up and enjoy the trip to Hell!”

Hank doesn’t even spare Gavin a glance as he reaches forward and turns the music up louder to drown out his bitch whining. “This trip is a fucking nightmare!” Gavin shouts.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, I'm sorry.


End file.
